


Shut Up

by Morgana



Series: Next Best Thing [2]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-01
Updated: 2010-01-01
Packaged: 2017-10-05 17:37:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgana/pseuds/Morgana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes you have to shut up to hear what it is you really want</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shut Up

“Shut up.”

“What? All I said was that the place isn’t lookin’ quite as homey as one might expect, given that the woman of the house… oh, wait. There isn’t a woman of the house anymore, is there, Harris? You went an’ ran her off.”

“Shut up, Spike.”

“Awww, you don’t like bein’ reminded of that? Can’t say as I blame you. Has to sting every so often, the thought of the bride you left at the altar, dunnit?”

“I said shut up, goddammit!”

“Make me.” The words are flung out with a shrug and head tilt, blue eyes never wavering as they met brown.

Xander doesn't know when he's felt such rage before. Bad enough that he had to go and lose the best thing that ever came into his life when he left Anya, but to have the neutered, pathetic excuse for a vampire mock him about it is just too much. He whirls on Spike, his hand flying up to strike, lips curling in a cold smile when he sees it - the tiniest hint of a flinch, the barest glimmer of fear.

And he can't do it. He may be his father's son, but he has not yet become his father. Isn't that why he abandoned his bride on her wedding day, to spare her that? He lowers his hand and turns back around, not wanting to think about the expression on Spike's face. Expectant and defiant, with a shadow of hope that maybe this time, it wouldn't hurt as much, that the pain wouldn't be quite so bad as last time. He knows that look, knows too how it so often enraged his father even further and wondered who had taught the vampire to do that, whether it was a mortal parent or the immortal sire.

A hand on his sleeve pulls him out of his thoughts as a low voice says, "Didn't mean to take it that far. Guess I thought... well, didn't really think. Anyways, best forgotten, yeah?"

Xander looks at him, remembers the proud, mocking being that had stepped out of darkness in an alley and threatened them, making even Buffy fear him. He wonders where that arrogance went, what exactly happened to the broken creature in front of him to have beaten it so thoroughly out of him. There's an openness to the blue eyes that he didn't think was there before, or if it was, maybe only Drusilla ever saw it. Those eyes beg for love, for acceptance, for anything other than indifference, and even though he knows it's wrong, knows he's not helping either of them, Xander can't help but answer them.

Taking the blond's shirt in his fists, Xander murmurs, "Shut up, Spike," and reinforces the soft order by closing his mouth over the vampire's. His brain tries to freak out, screams at him that this is a _man_ and _**Spike**_ at that, but Xander tells it to shut up and gives himself over to sensation. It's utterly unlike kissing any woman he's ever known, strange and new, but well worth exploring further.

The lips under his are cool and dry and they part readily at the first stroke of his tongue. He slips inside and is met with a wet tongue that wraps around his, offering the taste of cigarettes and beer and a faint metallic tang. Spike moans into his mouth and between one second and another, the vampire goes from frozen in acceptance to actively participating, hands rising to clutch at Xander's shoulders.

When he breaks away to breathe, they stare at each other, wide-eyed and silent for a long minute. Spike's gaze flickers from the man to the hallway and back, his offer clear. He shouldn't take him up on it, shouldn't use the other man's body for his own comfort, but the echo of his own loneliness is impossible to deny, so he nods. A slim hand slips into his own, and before tugging him along behind him, leading the way to his bed, Xander realizes that this is the longest he's ever heard Spike be quiet.

He stops and turns back around, opening his mouth to ask, to make sure that this is something the vampire really wants, when two long fingers press against his lips and a rough voice whispers, "Shut up, Xander."


End file.
